Estancada
Suele pasar. Que todo va bien hasta q te quedás atrás. Y nada parece ayudarte a recuperar eso q inexplicable// perdiste. Estoy, xo es como si no. Y el día transcurre lento, como dándote oportunidad, xo vos ya bajaste los brazos. Y reaparece lo casi único q sigue dándole orden a tu vida. Q en realidad son muchas cosas así, xo aplicarme a una sola, y tan agradable, es un premio a la constancia. A bancarme mis incoherencias y mostrarme tal cual soy. Y me sale bien. No como un hábito, xo sí como un golpe de suerte. Y me siento bastante felíz x eso. Bajo un cambio y consigo barajar de nuevo. Hoy no vas en tu auto. Entonces voy con mi hno. Y ahora mismo estoy pensando en q pasaría x tu cabeza si algún día supieras de este diario... cómo lo calificarias? Xo no me interesa tanto. Saco la cabeza y respiro. Vuelvo al baile.
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Let’s give it a try... only because you asked, ok? The title has something to do with “trapped” or something like that, unfortunately I can’t translate it exactly. The rest of it talks about the up’s and down of life, and in this time specifically of my life, of a great luck till it vanish into something you can’t explain; it refers to ours great expectations, obviously. Then I write “I am (here), but it’s like I’m not”. And the image of a day in slow motion, as a form of giving you the chance (to undone the witchery), but then again, you’ve already gave up. Then I mention this one thing (or almost the only one) that keeps everything together in my life, referred to a fact of my life not explicitly said there. Of course, I accept later, there are other things, but the preference is on that one which allows me to show myself exactly as I am, and I see the worth of it as the effort I give, as it implies left behind me all the confusion referred before; and I value it more because it’s like I didn’t ask for it, and having to manage with this thing, so nice to me, well it makes me happy! Then I slow down myself and try to reorder my mind, with the image of someone who can shuffle in a gambling, that I compare to this “change of luck”. Well, the last talks about something else, and refer to other person, in this case to a colleague (I’m a law student). Then it is like a lightning that flash me suddenly, making me think what would happen if this person know about the existence of this blog, or diary, and hypothetical to his thoughts about it (if he knew...). Again, I remind that this is not that important, or shouldn’t be to me. Then there is another image, of my head out of the window of the car, like a dog does to feel the air (in my case, to bring fresh air to my head) and then I take a breath. It finalizes with this sentence: “I return to the dance”, referring to something that requires much more energy and movement than I have. The message would be around this: well, I don’t know exactly what is going on with almost all in my life (or better said, I don’t have anything for sure right now), but that doesn’t keeps me of being positive about that caos, and give it a chance. Thanks for ask.
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